I wrote this mini-series back in 2005 when helping to organize an international conference here in Russia. We were hosting about 80 'foreigners' from Europe, North and South America, Australia, etc. and for many or most of them this was to be their FIRST visit to Russia. Knowing the stark differences between Russian culture and the culture of Western countries, I took it upon myself to ‘educate’ people in advance of their visit, so as to save them at least part of the cultural shock. :))

The mini-series is in 3 parts.

I have made a few adjustments to the dated parts of the text below (e.g. current president etc.), and have made some other relevant changes. Things do change with time… :)) The greater part of these texts is left ‘as is.’

Part 3: TALKING, SMILING, HUGGING, CRITICISM,.. formal address

This part is mostly to help understand what goes on.. normally, during socialization... and what does not go on..

TALKING
Yes, Russians do talk. Sometimes a lot. But in certain typical instances speech is replaced with.. telepathy? feeling? presence?
Very often, when people who know each other meet, no greetings are said. The "hello" is conveyed with a quick gaze. If someone did not SAY "hello" to you, it usually isn't because they didn't say it, but because it is said in a language (gaze language, soundless speech.. body language) that is not so familiar to you. At least not familiar enough that you consciously recognize it.
Saying "hello" to a stranger you pass on the street, such as in the US, is not practiced. If you do this, you will get a strange glance in response.
Very often, the "hello" is assumed by the presence, meaning that when a person comes in (into a room, for example), it is "assumed" that he/she greeted everyone and that everyone greeted back.

SMILING
Most often on the street (and other places) you will see "somber" faces. Smiling is normally done "selectively". And most often one smiles when one WANTS to. Not when a situation dictates a smile. You will not see normally store clerks, cashiers and various service people smiling at you..
The other side of this is that when someone does smile, it will be sincere.. most likely.
Much of what is said above about talking is also true for smiling.

HUGGING..
Hugging is less common that smiling.. Hugging is seen as something rather intimate and therefore not usually publicly displayed. Superficial hugging (embracing arms, bodies tilted forward, chest barely touching.. if at all) is not practiced normally. A HUG is when the whole body, including.. ahem.. pelvic areas is joined in a full embrace. You may see lovers on the street doing this..
But these are LOVERS..
PLEASE do not be obtrusive with your hugs with people. Even if you ask first ("May I hug you?") and the person agrees (out of politeness..), the impression you will leave will be.. well.. it will be the impression of a typical Westerner....
It is strongly advised that before you think of hugging someone you first try to feel (without asking!) if the person is inclined toward such.
By default, assume that he/she is not inclined (and will not be inclined in the future..).

CRITICISM
Criticism is often done outright and to the point. With NO political correctness. This saves much time.
However, you should not take criticism personally. Very often (most often?) when someone is criticizing, they are criticizing certain aspects, concepts, ideas and are not criticizing you personally.
Unless you really asked for it.
Or made a personal request for such. In either case, you may hear many.. interesting things about yourself (and may need to drink much vodka afterwards..).
(..All this holds true for criticism of certain types and schools of breathwork.........)

Formal address
The formal way to address an adult is using the name and patronymic combination (not Mr./Mrs. So-And-So).
The patronymic is the name of the person's father with a suffix added. For females the suffix is -vna (-ovna, -evna): Marina OlegOVNA, Irina VasiliEVNA etc.. For males the suffix is -vich (-ovich, -evich) Stanislav MikhailOVICH, Pavel IgorEVICH.


We hope this short series will make your visit to Russia more.. predictable.

*************